Hung Over You
by Deidara-Danna-sama
Summary: Sasuke gets drunk and decides to call Naruto...what could possibly go wrong? Stupidity, a drunk Sasuke, mild language, and fluff. Enjoy!
1. Let's Talk Dirty

Dei-chan: Lolz I think the title is appropriate for this story. At least for the second chapter when I make it, it will be.

Sasuke:You're kinda freaky lookin'.

Dei-chan: Doesn't vodka just work wonders un?*laughs evilly waving half empty bottle*

Naruto:This sucks cuz I'm the one who has to listen to the dumb bastard!

Sasuke:I'm swift...LIKE THE WIND!*jumps on Naruto*

Naruto:GET OFF ME YOU IDIOT!

Sasuke:Get your hands off me woman!!

Naruto:YOU JUST CALLED ME A WOMAN!?

Dei-chan:Awww lovers tiffs.^^ Let us begin un!

**Disclaimer: Do not own Naruto....***currently signing a contract to officially make Naruto my slave*..MUAHAHHAHAHAA!!!!YOU'LL NEVER STOP ME NOW!...NO NO!!BAD DOG!BAD DOG!!*cries at the evil doggy chewing the contract to shreds*

* * *

Cerulean eyes irritably narrowed at the bedside clock on his nightstand. It was 3 AM and he hadn't slept yet. He glanced at his phone now, it was vibrating like crazy and was now stating that he had 54 missed calls.

Fifty. Four. Missed. Calls.

Ironically all from the same person.

Why hasn't he gone to sleep? Simple really. His ignorant boyfriend had been blowing up his cell phone since he had dropped him off at his house. The dumb bastard was high as hell and Naruto found him at the local bar called **Kyuubi** since Sasuke left a long, stupid message on his phone that was nothing more than random babbling. That happened around 12:44.

Then once the blonde was him home, Sasuke _puked_ all over the seats. ALL OVER THE LEATHER.

That stupid fuck.

After that(and hours he spent at the carwash trying to clean the seats)Naruto finally dropped Sasuke at his house, but much to the blonde's annoyance, Sasuke didn't have his house keys on him(And Naruto didn't have his spares either.)so the blonde spent another two hours backtracking to where Sasuke could've left his keys. Turns out that Sasuke had his keys the whole time. They were in his boxers.

Brilliant huh? And by then it was already 2:33.

So Naruto _finally_ brought Sasuke home and helped the raven stumble into his house, but not before taking his house keys from him. Sasuke could have those back when he got over his hangover.

When Sasuke had a hangover he was the worst possible person to be around. He was insanely irritable, always on edge and what was worse was that he was super anti-social. Bastard.

By the time Naruto finally returned home? It was 2:54 AM. Which now brings us to the present ordeal of said blonde trying to get some sleep.

Naruto heaved a sigh, running his fingers through his mass of unruly golden hair that was starting to stick to his forehead with sweat. It was hot out, naturally because it was the summertime but today's weather hit a record of 90 degrees. Oh yes just perfect. To top it off? That stupid bastard and said boyfriend of the blonde, Sasuke Uchiha went and got _drunk._

Now Sasuke wasn't the drinking type nor did he drink when he had nothing better to do. The raven often was stuck up and always acting like someone's mother. He was also a cynical bastard with a pessimistic streak. He had to be that way though; He ran his own company. Once every year there would randomly be a time where the Uchiha would just say 'fuck it' and he'd go to a bar to release some tension. That tension being released in the form of alcohol and this always resulted in the raven getting completely drunk. He did this every year, but only ONCE.

The second downside of that dark haired bastard getting drunk was that he'd be draped all over Naruto like a curtain and twice as perverted and possessive than he normally was. He was also twice as annoying.

And now that bastard was calling the blonde….AGAIN.

The small blonde was going to pop a blood vessel. _'Stupid bastard…why won't he quit calling!?'_ Tan fingers snatched up the phone and after silently praying to the gods that the idiot on the other end would pass out he answered with a groggy, "Hello Sasuke." He made sure that he didn't keep the bite out his voice.

The other end of the phone was all hiccups and snickering. God that idiot was really blown this time. "Hiya Nawwwuuuu…..Was you sleepin'?" Sasuke's slurred voice on the other end almost made Naruto want to record it and use it to blackmail the raven later. The latter merely sighed, "No baby. I was TRYING to sleep but you won't stop calling me." He got another snicker followed by a hiccup. "Ohhhmm okay. You wants me to come over? C-Cuz I gots to ask ya something baby…you gonna grow boobs?"

Naruto could feel his blood pressure rising. Sasuke always asked the stupidest of questions and worst of all, if Naruto didn't answer the baka would _keep_ asking.

"I'm not gonna grow boobs Sasuke."

"Awww why not? I was gonna make a booby farm. And you'd be the…the uhm…the thingamabob."

"…"

"Hey…Hey Naru…hey…you awake?…you awake?…you went to sleep? Cuz I think you awake or something'."

"Sasuke…go to bed."

"Ooohhh you wanna get freaky don'cha?? Don'cha wish yo girlfriend was hot like me? Don'cha!!"

*eye twitching* "Sasuke hang up right now so I can get some sleep."

"I'mma put you to sleep al'ight…I wanna sex you til you fall fast asleep in the bedrooommm…I ain't stopping til I hear you scream, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!**(1)**"

*Nearly dropped the phone* "Sasuke shut up and go to bed!!"

"Cuz tonight baby, I wanna get freaky wit youuu! I'mma lick you up and down til you say stop-*hic*…you wearin' a thong aren't ya?"

"I'm not wearing a thong you idiot!!"

"You knows I turns you on baby. You look all hot and sexy…like tuna-spread. I'mma come over mmkay?"

"YOU ARE NOT DRIVING OVER HERE!"

"Yeah let's go to IHOP I'm drivin' babe! I'mma show you how I eats my pancakes….cuz…cuz you know you like that kinky stuff. Like truck tires."

"Sasuke if you don't go to bed I will come to that house of yours and rip your throat out!"

"Oohh feisty. I like it rough."

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU LIKE!"

"Hehehe…you frisky tonight huh?"

"…"

"Yeah okay baby I'mma talk to you t'mrrw cuz m-my friend mister chips says I gots to go take nap-nap."

"Mister chips?"

"You can't talk to him. He don't likes strangers y'know."

"….Right. Goodnight Sasuke."

The blonde heaved a huge sigh of relief as he snapped his phone shut and placed it down on the nightstand. Crap that was annoying. Why the raven had to go get blown off his ass on this particular night he'd never know. Drooping azure eyes slowly proceeded to close-

_Vvrrrrrrmmmmmm!_

Damn that phone. Sasuke was calling for the umpteenth time. _'What the hell does he want NOW!?'_ the small blonde rubbed at his temples as he picked up the vibrating contraption. It would be such a great idea to go break the damn thing but that might mean Sasuke would attempt to come over. Either way he had to answer.

Damn.

"WHAT!?"

"….Hey Naruto?"

"What?"

"Hey Naruto?"

"What??"

"Hey…hey Naruto?"

"_What is it Sasuke._"

"…Hi."

*Vein throbbing* "…"

"Say hi Naru-puffs."

"…."

"Naru-chan??"

"..."

"Naru-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*pauses and takes a deep breath to continue*aannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn-"

"**SHUT UP DAMMIT!!**"

"Ooohh there you is baby! I saved you so now we have to have sex right?"

"NO. GOODNIGHT."

And as of now the clock read 4:50 AM. He wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. Damn that bastard.

* * *

**(1)-**Lolz that partial little excerpt is from a song by Pretty Ricky called Love like Honey.

Dei-chan:....Sasuke is really....WEIRD...when he gets drunk. I promise a chapter two! Sasuke Uchiha the hangover edition! I'm willing to bet everyone will wanna know how he acts once he begins to get sobered up.

Sasuke:...My head hurts...

Naruto:..Oh does it now?*holding a baseball bat*

Dei-chan:Keep the blood to a minimum un!And you there! yes you! The brainless yaoi lover reading this!Get to it and do your job!!

Naruto:We love you when you review un!

Dei-chan:THAT'S MY LINE UN!...We love you when you review un!


	2. Hungover Like Hell

Dei-chan:I bring you chapter two and Sasuke will finally understand why payback's a bitch!Lolz hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

BEEP!

BEEP!

Onyx eyes squinted painfully at the shrill sound of his alarm clock as a pale hand quickly reached out to hit the snooze button (after missing a good three times). It was friggin' 1 in the afternoon. Christ his head was throbbing and his muscles were aching…wait…when the hell did the bed feel so hard and stiff? Oh, no wonder. He fell asleep on the floor.

Sasuke Uchiha sat up groggily, a chill racing up his spine from the cold wood and he winced at the horrific headache pounding away at his senses. Dark eyes slowly scanned his room and the mess that was about it; an overturned lamp, the sheets had been pulled off the bed along with the pillows, and magically he missed the damn bed when he had passed out. Fuck how the hell did he miss that thing? More importantly, where the hell was his blonde dobe?

Pale fingers groped about and successfully found his phone under the bed but dark eyebrows furrowed seeing that the damn thing was dead. _'Who the hell did I call last night? Did I forget to charge this stupid thing?'_ His memory was rather hazy from last night; he only remembered going to the bar after he got off work and something about Naruto and a thong or something….wait the dobe bought a thong? No…probably not.

Sasuke managed to get to his feet and had almost wondered why he wasn't dressed in his suit that he wore to work yesterday; the Uchiha was only clad in a black t-shirt and his boxers. Unsteadily he padded across the cool floor, keeping one hand on his throbbing temple to ease the pain and using his free hand to keep his balance and brace against the wall. Fuck hangovers hurt like hell. He was actually pissed because he couldn't remember what he did. He was hoping it wasn't something stupid and humiliating.

The raven managed to stumble into his bathroom(only to be doubled over in pain because the moron cut the light on and headaches with bright light don't work well together.) and assumed the fetal position near the door for about twenty minutes before sighing and ready to deal with the light, got up and brushed his teeth.

What he needed was his Usuratonkachi right now. He vaguely wondered if the dobe was awake…no...What time was it anyways? He was really in need of an aspirin and-

**Bang, Bang, Bang!**

Dear God who the hell was banging on the front door like an idiot?! The raven pinched the bridge of his nose. First he wakes up with a headache out this world and now some dumbass was simply putting the pain he was feeling in his head into audibility. Worst of all the person was ringing the doorbell too. Ringing the doorbell and banging on the door in unison.

That stupid son of a bitch.

Sasuke glared at the ceiling before storming downstairs (and at the same time trying to ignore the ridiculous throbbing in his head) and stomping to the front door. He was gonna cuss this dumb bastard out so bad that they'd shut their mouths for the rest of their' natural life. Angrily the raven flung the door open with a loud, "WHAT!?" then quickly calmed at the sky blue eyes mischievously staring back at him.

"Well nice to see you too Teme."

Sasuke feigned a frown his dark eyes narrowing in irritation. "Dobe…tell me that there was some other idiot out here banging on this door who ran away as soon as I opened it."

The blonde smiled cheekily and looked about as though he were trying to spot somebody then turned back to his glaring boyfriend. "Hmm…sorry babe just me." Naruto had to stifle a laugh at the pissed expression that the raven was giving him; Sasuke looked like he was going to pop a vein. "What the hell are you here for anyways Usuratonkachi?" The blonde uke snorted at his boyfriend's snide remark and reached in his pants pocket and produced a pair of keys.

"For you oh wonderful bitchy seme of mine."

Onyx eyes gaped at the keys in those pretty tan fingers. How the hell did Naruto get his house keys?? He could've sworn that they had been-

"If you're wondering how I got your keys well I suppose I'm also gonna have to explain why I had to drag your drunk ass out a bar at nearly 1 in the freaking morning." The blonde stated wryly his eyes narrowing at his gaping boyfriend. "So are you going to let me in? Or just stand there like a baka?" With that the raven snorted and stood aside to let his blonde nuisance inside.

To say the least Naruto was actually impressed with how decent the house was looking. Normally after the Uchiha got drunk the house would be a sty. "Oh look how nice the house is…and how's that hangover doin' ya huh?" He smirked receiving an impassive glare before the raven promptly flopped on the couch with a pillow over his face. "Hnngh…dobe can you get me an aspirin?" The Uchiha's voice was slightly muffled due to the pillow but he didn't notice the cerulean eyes of his lover glint in amusement.

The small blonde smirked to himself. This dumb bastard did this every year, get drunk, get a hangover then expect for Naruto to baby him. Not this time Sasuke. Before the blonde even arrived to the Uchiha's house he only managed to get roughly 3 and a half hour of sleep.

Three.

And a half.

HOURS.

That was out of the usual 10 to 11 hours that he normally slept and by the time he got up it was going on 12. That fucking sucked alongside the fact that after Sasuke stopped calling him, he couldn't make himself go to sleep worth a damn(and it's a bad thing when a hot bath doesn't even make you relax a little.) and he didn't find himself nodding off until it was freaking 9 o'clock.

"Dobe quit staring into space and get my fucking aspirin dammit!"

"Oh but of course Sasuke-_sama_."

Naruto sauntered to the bathroom giggling hearing Sasuke mutter something about "stupid ukes" and came back with the small bottle of aspirins. "Oh Sasuke I do believe that you're out of aspirins." He smirked and placed the bottle behind the vase on the coffee table near the couch. This was about to be hilarious. There was a loud groan as the raven sat up hugging the pillow to his muscular chest, his face contorting with anger.

"I have some aspirins in the cabinet in the bathroom Usuratonkachi. Now go get them."

"Mm-mm. I just checked and they're all gone."

"Well take your ass to a fucking store and buy me some!"

"How rude. I won't get you any if you keep yelling at me like that."

"…"

"Y'know teme I really shouldn't get you anything at all anymore. You want to know why?"

"Hn."

"You remember what you did last night?"

The Uchiha deadpanned. This was not good especially if the blonde was telling him about it. He sucked in some air. "…No Naruto."

A sinister yet irritated looking smirk formed across Naruto's pretty pink lips. "I'll tell you what you did then. You deprived me of a whole eight hours worth of sleep."

A small smirk graced the Uchiha's face, "Is it in the way I'm thinking?"

"No."

"Well damn what did I do that was that bad?"

"You got drunk off your ass when I picked you up from that fucking bar. Then you puked all over the seats and I spent an hour cleaning them…"

"…"*sweat drops*

"…And then you lost your house keys…or so I thought. I spent well over two hours driving around trying to figure out where the fuck you left them until you told me your dick was hurting and guess where your keys were too?"

"…"

Naruto impatiently tapped his foot. Didn't this dumb bastard have anything to say for himself?? Making his boyfriend go out of his way to take care of his stupid ass and Sasuke had the audacity to call him a 'dead-last.'

Sasuke eyed the smaller man suspiciously then cocked a smile. "So it's safe to assume you're mad huh?" He chuckled at the glare thrown his way, "Well whatever it's over now so you can get your panties out a knot."

Azure eyes narrowed and a malicious smile appeared on the small blonde's face making his boyfriend raise an eyebrow. "Oh yeah it's over all right because after the shit you put me through last night you're sleeping on the couch. For a month."

The raven began to sputter and visibly paled much to Naruto's delight.

Quite a shame actually. It was going to get worse.

Tan fingers reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. "Baby you know that you called me over 62 times in a span of two hours after I took you home?" he chuckled darkly and scrolled down to the application with recordings and with the click of a button, Naruto amusedly watched his boyfriend's expression turn to that of shock as he replayed their whole phone conservation from the previous night.

Technology is such a beautiful thing.

"Th-That was _me_??"

"Yup."

"And I was that drunk?"

"Yup."

"…"

"Also I sent this in a text message to a few friends of ours. I'm plenty sure Gaara and Shino and everyone else would _die laughing_ if they knew how much dumb shit you say when you get drunk…"

The raven paled more, "Naruto…you didn't send that. PLEASE tell me you didn't send that to anyone." He blanched at the devious grin his boyfriend gave him and groaned loudly, burying his face back in the pillow. Damn he'd never get drunk again.

Naruto whistled a tune and closed his phone after saving the recording to a text message draft. _'Heh…it'll come in handy when I need it.' _He mused darkly and leaned over the couch to gingerly place a kiss on his frustrated teme's forehead.

"Ne, teme?"

"Hn?"

"I found your aspirins."

Outside the Uchiha's house one would've jumped out their' shoes hearing a very loud bellow of "**WHAT!?!**" that was so loud that the birds on a wire a few blocks down actually flew away.

* * *

Dei-chan:This was one of my funnest fics ever! Hope you all enjoyed!

Sasuke:...*seething*

Naruto:LMAO! LOSER!

Sasuke:Quit yelling dammit!

Naruto:I CAN YELL IF I WANNA!!!

Sasuke:SHUT UP!

Naruto:DON'T YELL AT ME!!

Dei-chan:...yeah uhm...review un!XD Dei-chan loves you!


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